Looking
At the clock,
Looks like it's damn near midnight already
Again.
This used to be my favorite part of the day, staying up for you, but that was before it was draining difficult STRAINING . . . depressing; when it wasn't required when it matter and now,
Now it doesn't, does it?
You scream and POUND your accusations into my skull like rusty nails, broken and brittle and corroded leaving behind gritty residue leaving my mind throbbing, SHAKING
I try telling you no, you've got it wrong NO I do care I just I . . . trust me . . .
No, no instead you drag me through the muck and mire of YOUR-
Ahem, "MY" web of lies and mistakes, drag me to you
Your voice is a venom with lasting effects,
At night your words still resonate through the veins of my mind despite having been injected hours before,
Deteriorating my thoughts and causing my dreams to simmer and bubble, convulse till they finally boil over, having twisted themselves into nightmares,
As if I didn't have enough of those already. . .
I look into your eyes, so bright and shining up till the second they meet mine, turn dark and bleak like the future I see before me,
A windswept plain, particles of the past scattered through the inky black of this hole I've dug myself, a tunnel with only one exit that's still far outta sight.
Step in the river, look down slowly
Feel them swarming in the shadows
Jet-black swirling shadows,
Walk in deeper, to your shoulders
They won't bite 'less you're bleeding,
Gasp for air as the water gets colder
See their white teeth below you gleaming,
Halfway. . .
See the shoreline up'head singing
Singing, calling, smiling,
Look up, run, run through the shadows
Feel one scratch you, slip 'nto the current
Reach up but they're all that's 'round you
Tearing, thrashing, snarling
Dragging you under, dragging you away
Away from a week
Without a bad day
Color green, color blue; that help you?
No.
Color red, color black; see that crack?
Find it, watch it, follow it,
Follow it through the mist,
Hear your spine twist,
Hear it take a breath and hiss,
"You've missed."
Feel it, feel it choke and hold tight,
Try so hard, with all your might,
You can't win this fight.
A skull-splitting scream,
A madman's dream,
It's over now. . .
Or so it seems.
Color white, color gray,
Watch your life
As it drains away.
Your voice is a venom with lasting effects,
At night your words still resonate through the veins of my mind despite having been injected hours before,
Deteriorating my thoughts and causing my dreams to simmer and bubble, convulse till they finally boil over, having twisted themselves into nightmares,
As if I didn't have enough of those already. . .
I look into your eyes, so bright and shining up till the second they meet mine, turn dark and bleak like the future I see before me,
A windswept plain, particles of the past scattered through the inky black of this hole I've dug myself, a tunnel with only one exit that's still far outta sight.
The last journal I wrote on here I said how I only wrote 2 journals in all of 2015 and it's looking like the same thing'll happen for 2016 too :P Oh well. I've kinda been...I don't know, not really active on here at all I guess, due to a number of reasons. First of all, school has basically killed my motivation for art, all of it - writing, drawing, world-building...
Other non-art & non-material things have been actually pretty good though, actually. But actually wait though I'll talk about the bad things first I guess. I mean like I said though relatively they're not too bad though. This one's kinda petty really but nonetheless
I only wrote two journals in all of 2015 last year apparently?
I wasn't gonna write like a legit journal either I was just coming because I remember every year writing the same thing today but now I see I didn't do it last year so w/ever. I actually wasn't gonna write it anyway but for another reason/things have changed a bit for the better.
I'll write a legit journal sooner or later, don't worry about it; not that there's anybody reading these to be worrying about anything anyway but yeah.
1. How long have you been on DeviantArt?
5 years
2. What does your username mean?
When I joined, I was really into Speed Racer for some reason and I really liked Spritle.
3. Describe yourself in three words.
Nah.
4. Are you left or right handed?
Right.
5. What was your first deviation?
The first picture I ever drew of Apoc, apparently. The day I joined, I also added some other old refs.
6. What is your favourite type of art to create?
I like drawing with colored pencils, poetry, and stories equally.
7. If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?
Acrylic painting.
8. What was your first favourite?
"Un